we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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