Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
