Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
