I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She's the barista slut.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
