Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
