Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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