There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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