If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
