i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
