new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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