I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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