Swine flu. Run for my life!
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
