If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My ass is underappreciated
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
