Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
