Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
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