I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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