Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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