well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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