You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
