I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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