Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
