Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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