my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
