Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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