and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize