Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
