I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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