Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
