Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(208): View more from Idaho

can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?

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(503): View more from Oregon

PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."

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(803): View more from South Carolina

It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.

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(417): View more from Missouri

I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.

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(514): View more from Quebec

Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.

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(518): View more from New York

They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower

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(623): View more from Arizona

He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.

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(619): View more from California

Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo

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(708): View more from Illinois

the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .

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