i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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