he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
