You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
