There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
