Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize