i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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