Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I got inside last night via doggy door
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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