I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
In America we eat man semen.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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