How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
