i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize