it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
