anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
