he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
