Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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