Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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