I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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