He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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