he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
What a dumb baby whore.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
