Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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