um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Who put my cat in the fridge?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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