That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We left an ass print on the piano.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
