Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
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