Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
