I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
