I'm pants shitting drunk right now
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You smell like stripper and shame
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
