He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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