My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
