You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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