I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Your cock deserves a montage
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize