what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
