left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
