Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I pour the whiskey from now on
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
