you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
