Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
