Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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