pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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