Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
