I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
