i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
