This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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