so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
