So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
God, I missed his penis.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
